Judging from our change for a £20 note, they have introduced a new £10 note to get rid of Our Tarty Queen and replace
her with an International Woman of Mystery. Long may she reign over us rather than her imbecile of a son.
In the evening we go to see
Toy Story 3
which is alleged to bring strong men to their knees. Accordingly, I go equipped with a huge supply of tissues but these
prove unecessary. In fact it is jolly exciting - I really didn't like
though. Very sinister bear, that one.
At the fair, our friend Katie auditions for her new role as The Stig in Top Gear. Maybe not.
Do you remember when you had to check the oil in cars and top it up now and again? Well, we still live in those days. After the Topping Up ceremony we head off for our pizza at La Canada. Very tasty.
In the morning, the mist in the Straits of Gibraltar has settled into a line parallel with the surface of the sea. It is like a very large scale physics experiment.
It is very unusual for us to see cruise ships close up but for some reason Eclipse comes into our cul-de-sac in order to
do a U turn.
The rest of the day is an endless series of minor disasters - my nose starts bleeding, we get stuck in endless traffic and so it goes on. The only good news is that we get the last two tickets to the concert in Saint Michael's Cave which is due to take place on 2nd September. Naturally, we have to buy them, one at a time, from two separate shops at opposite ends of Gibraltar but never mind.
So, there we are in the air conditioned comfort of Cheers when a whole gang of people come in and sit right on top of us.
At this point I know that we are doomed. Whether it will be death by mobile phone, Spanish yelling, smoking or some
other horror I don't know but that we are doomed is not in dispute. This is one of Alan Greenspan's known unknowns. As
opposed to unknown unknowns which occur out of a cloudless sky.
Who would have thought it would be by knee trembling? But it is so bad that the floor is shaking and we have to leave.
In the evening we go to see Angelina Jolie in
No - not the Strategic Arms Limitation Treaty but a shoot'em up. Lara Croft meets James Bond. The reviews say it is hokum
and I prepare for badly needed sleep. Instead I sit on the edge of my chair for two hours of reality suspension. It is
great fun if you can avoid asking questions eg "what the hell was all that about?"
Later we go for a ride on the dodgems in the fair which is still bursting eardrums behind the Leisure Centre.
Today we are supposed to be having a personal audience with his Holiness the Pope followed by dinner with Barack Obama but
we cancel this in order to go and see the cardboard boats. Of course, the poster does not say where or at what time but
that is totally standard for Gibraltar where everybody operates by telepathy.
We ask lots of people but nobody knows so we do a search on the internet that reveals that it will start at 1.30pm. Hurrah! So, we set off at 1.00pm and walk briskly through the bright sunshine (phew) and arrive at 1.25pm along with hoards of other people heading towards the music and laughter.
Sure enough, there are some cardboard boats. "Where is it happening?" we ask. Well, it seems, they decided to have it at
12.00pm. Yup. It is all over.
We know when we are beaten and go and have a really magnificent meal in Brunos. Forget my previous bad review - the meal is awesome. Even the bread is fresh. As always, they undercharge us and I have to point this out to them yet again.
Sadly, we leave Ocean Village but not to worry! Tomorrow is the Flying Man Competition and we know that starts at 3.00pm. Like the Cardboard Boats, it is organised by email@example.com. Don't forget to add all this to your CV, Gina.