Week 170 of Gibraltar Diary

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Sunday 12th June 2011

Sadly, our poinsettia is now firmly deceased. RIP.

Monday 13th June 2011

Scaffolding seems to be a feature of the Gibraltar landscape - especially on Engineers Lane which appears to have been permanantly scaffolded for the last three years.

Tuesday 14th June 2011

When I get up and look out of the window, the first thing I see is Eclipse, which has presumably arrived for repairs. Even though it is over 500 feet long it does not look particularly big - most of the ships in the harbour are of comparable size.

Talking of big money, the finance ministers of Europe are complaining bitterly that the rating agencies are downgrading the sovereign debt of the PIGS (Portugal, Ireland, Greece and Spain). Funnily enough, only a couple of years ago the same people were complaining that the same rating agencies had been far too generous in their assessment of the credit worthyness of the banks and that in future they should assess debt with a far more jaundiced eye.

But when they do just that, they suddenly cry "foul". What they really meant to say is "be pessimistic when you assess somebody else's debt but generous when you assess our debt". Funny that.

Wednesday 15th June 2011

Fat people are not fat because they eat too much but because fat is a very effective survival mechanism - in a famine, the fat people will still be around when the skinnies have all faded away. So why do we we feel such disgust at fat people? Answers on the back of a very large envelope please.

As I am waiting to be served in a chemists, a fat woman walks in. She lifts up the front of her skirt and fans it up and down. Then she casually plucks a can of deoderant from a shelf and gives a long blast under her left arm followed by a long blast under her right arm. At this point my nerves fail me and I make a swift exit from the shop.

As Melanie Safka said all those years ago "Some people think that fatties are nice. Ough ..."

Thursday 16th June 2011

In Gibraltar, most parking is free so people leave cars to rot by the side of the road while shoppers, tourists and other legtitmate users can find nowhere to park. The Government are so scared of losing votes that they will never take difficult decisions - like charging for car parking. People "own" parking spaces by the side of the road - you will see them take one car out and then leave a spare car there to reserve the space. Yes, I mean you with the red van at the front of Atlantic Suites.

Friday 17th June 2011

One of the problems of having a huge yacht or a private jet is thet you cannot get near your destination and end up having to ride there on your bike.

Saturday 18th June 2011

So what are germs? Yup, they are viruses and bacteria. The English language has a hard time of it in Gibraltar - having to compete every day with Gibberish.


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