Week 165 of Gibraltar Diary

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Sunday 8th May 2011

Amazingly, jet fuel is free of tax. How long can that last?

Monday 9th May 2011

Now that's a good photograph.

Tuesday 10th May 2011

In a distant land my girlfriend is making her way back to the UK. I pick her up in the evening at Speke - it is good to see her again.

Wednesday 11th May 2011

Nature endlessly tries out different designs. This particular design was extremely effective for about three billion years. Then Tesco was invented and suddenly it began to look a little outdated.

Thursday 12th May 2011

On the way from Norwich to Portsmouth via London we call in at Mildenhall to see some fast jets set off to bomb Colonel Gadaffi. I open the bonnet to get something out and there is a twang and the bonnet release cable breaks.

We turn round and drive back to Manchester to get another car.

Friday 13th May 2011

We get to Portsmouth in plenty of time and board the ferry to Bilbao. There are some nice boats around including HMS Bristol, which has just been extensively refitted.

This time we have a seriously crap cabin.

Saturday 14th May 2011

We arrive at 6.00pm and set off for Salamanca which is about 290 miles away. Using stealth technology we arrive in ... good time.

Salamanca is a dump. It is claimed to be one of the four best cities in Spain but they are lying. In fact the whole place seems to induce lunacy. We eat in a restaurant which is full of locals and some Scottish people who rave about the beauty of Salamanca and what a good restaurant this is. We have dry bread to start and a bottle of reasonable wine.

I have 6 tiny but very good chops with 6 lettuce leaves and 6 disgustingly soggy chips. My girlfriend has a piece of cardboard pretending to be a fish and 6 soggy chips. The bill is 59 euros. There are plenty of places in Spain where you can get a memorable meal with wine for two people for 40 euros or less.

But why were the locals there? Maybe it is like those buses in Africa. When you get on the driver tells you it will leave when it is full. You look around and there is only one empty seat. Then somebody gets on but immediately somebody gets off. And so it goes on - the bus is full of people paid to sit there in order to fool tourists.

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      End of Week 165 of Gibraltar Diary

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