Week 109 of Gibraltar Diary

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Sunday 11th April 2010

It seems that Solid Disk Drives are the coming thing and I spend a fair while working out how to replace the drive in my laptop. There are various videos showing how to do this. I watch one where some idiot burbles on for about 10 minutes and then at the crucial moment, walks right in front of the camera. Another, different, idiot carefully positions the camera so that the light reflects off the laptop thereby making it impossible to see a damn thing. Do they do this deliberately?

Monday 12th April 2010

We set off for the UK. This is not our jet - ours is much, much bigger. Unfortunately, it is also full of people who shout none stop for three solid hours.

Tuesday 13th April 2010

We go to see some friends who produce a board game that shows our amazing ignorance of world flags. Did you know that Egypt and the Yemen have virtually identical flags? Me neither.

Wednesday 14th April 2010

This is a friend of ours in the garden.

Later we go to see the Humber Bridge ...

... and then on to Betty's in Harrogate (yes, I know York is nearer - don't ask) via the smokey North.

Thursday 15th April 2010

On the way to Norwich we see more smoke and discover that Stansted is closed because of ash - not from a pipe but from a volcano called Eyjafjallajokull in Iceland. It seems that having destroyed our fishing and banking industries they are now intent on destroying our aviation industry. What next? Probably the Plastic Gnome industry - its hard to think of another one.

Friday 16th April 2010

We need to be in Gibraltar so we set off by car. This starling looks a little lost - we are about to experience this feeling ourselves very shortly.

At about 11.30pm we are driving right across a ploughed field in France looking for our hotel. There is nothing there that looks remotely like a hotel. We set off for various other hotels but none of them exist either. The whole of Northwest France is dead. It looks like the aftermath of a nerve gas attack. No light, nothing. Just blackness.

Saturday 17th April 2010

At 2.30am we check into the Best Western in Amiens where we are right royally ripped off - bastards.

At about 11.00am we set off on small roads which are very fast but not fast enough. We give up and head for Toll roads. Now we really start to motor but around Paris our new TomTom Live sends us all over the place. We cannot decide whether it is plain stupid or fiendishly clever in avoiding traffic jams. Being smart is not enough - you need a little PR as well.

Finally, we arrive in Bordeaux which is just awesome. We find an exquisite hotel next to a gorgeous restaurant near a Haagan Dazs - heaven. We shall return.


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