Week 70 of Gibraltar Diary

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Sunday 12th July 2009

We go to Tarifa because we are still excited at having a car again. It is very hard to park as all the beaches are extremely busy but we finally find somewhere. Having watched Jesus Christ Superstar we wonder whether it is more difficult to do a handstand on water than merely walk on it - we decide that it is.

When we get back to Gibraltar we stop for an ice cream and are passed by a yellow Lamborghini Gallardo Spyder which makes a really nice noise. It turns out that it is the car which is parked opposite mine in our car park (under a dust sheet - I am not totally blind). Nice car. Very yellow.



Later I spot the devil lurking on the floor near my bathroom door (note the two horns). $50,000 on eBay perhaps? Much better that the BVM on toast

Roll up, roll up.

Monday 13th July 2009

Today we fly to the UK where summer is in full swing - complete with wasps.

In the evening we drive to Holyhead in Anglesea. On the way we stop in a service station where I order a coffee which costs 2.49. I give the girl a ten pound note and she gives me 7.51 change, all in coins. I explain to her that we are on our way to Ireland where they use the euro so I don't want a lot of coins.

Accordingly, I give her ten one pound coins and she gives me back the ten pound I had just given her. She then says that I owe her for the coffee! I explain at great length that I do not. When we leave she looks really grim faced - convinced she has been defrauded. Idiot (there are two totally separate transactions).

Tuesday 14th July 2009

We arrive at the Westbury (a pretentious and over opulent hotel in the middle of Dublin) at about 1.00am. I walk in carrying only a large cardboard box. The security man is very aggressive - he clearly thinks I am a tramp. I explain that I live in a large detached, cardboard box with running water under a bridge in England but he is not impressed. Finally, my girlfriend arrives carrying a huge pile of luggage and they let us in.

In the morning we go for a tour of the M50 ring road where we admire our favourite artificial Christmas trees - bit early in the year really.

In the early eveing we go to see Public Enemies which is worth seeing. Finally we get back on yet another Stena ferry bound for England. Or, more accurately, Holyhead in Anglesea where we arrive at 12.45am.

Wednesday 15th July 2009

We arrive home at 3.00am somewhat tired. I am up at 10.00am and spend all day talking to people.

At 6.00pm we leave for London arriving via our favourite Frankie and Benny in Birmingham.

Thursday 16th July 2009

The fountain in Russell Square is full of pigeons. Why? Very odd.

In the afternoon I go to an industrial property auction (ie tenanted factories and warehouses) organised by King Sturge. There are 31 lots and every single one of them sells - a 100% success rate which is unprecedented in my experience.

In the early evening we sit in Russell Square along with hundreds of other people enjoying the summer sunshine and then we catch a bus to Tower Bridge and look at the boats - much better than actually buying one.

And on the way we spot a poodle in the sky - friendlier than devils.

Later it starts to rain and we go the Haagen Dazs in Leicester Square, where the toilets are out of order as usual. At 10.20pm we go to see Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs in 3D. It is a typical sequel - not really worth staying up for.

Friday 17th July 2009

In the late morning we make our way to Victoria station where there is a Gatwick shuttle all ready to go in three minutes time. Why is it so empty? In fact, it is totally empty. Then I spot an identical shuttle on the next platform. We scramble across with seconds to spare and plonk ourselves down. When the ticket inspector arrives he wants 58 for tickets as it seems we are in the first class section. So we start the walk of shame to the cheap-skates section where it "only" costs 33.80. Maybe next time we will get a private hire vehicle from Russell Square for "from 20 upwards". What horrors would that involve I wonder?

We get to the Gatwick terminal and wait for the free shuttle to the North Terminal where we sit down at the back. A man in a fluorescent jacket tells us we are not allowed to sit down and we argue the toss until we arrive - whether he is a fruitcake or an official or both is not clear.

Now we have the long walk to gate 111, which involves going over a spectacular bridge designed to let airplanes go underneath. If this were over a river people would come from far and wide to admire it but here I doubt whether anybody even notices it - certainly we didn't. It is seriously big.

Finally we arrive in Gibraltar and get a bus home. Phew.

Saturday 18th July 2009

As the sun goes down we set off for the fair in La Linea but I am excessively organised and only have euros with me so after walking through the gorgeous Alameda Gardens for an hour we return home to collect some English money. You can spend euros in Gibraltar but the exchange rate is ruinous.

The fair opens at midnight and this is an exploratory trip - the most spectacular ride is a giant green bacteriophage. We walk back to the border and get a number 10 bus to the Bastion leisure centre, where it ends. All of the other buses stop at about 9.30pm but the number 10 continues until 30 minutes past midnight.

From there we walk home. It is cool but very humid - the price you pay for being surrounded by water.


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