Week 58 of Gibraltar Diary

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Sunday 19th April 2009

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The caterpillar was crawling across the floor as we came out of our flat but I am not sure where the submarines has been. My guess is that it has been sunk for some time and just recovered - maybe by Mistral which was parked next to it and has been dashing about in a very excited way over the last few days.

As for Sea Cloud, well, she was here last year and no doubt will be back next year as well.

Finding amusing things in menus written by non-English speakers ("To Finish You Off") is like shooting fish in a barrel but maybe it will get me ten quid from Private Eye and every little bit helps.

Monday 20th April 2009

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We fly to the UK at mid-day from Gibraltar. Just in case you don't realise (and i am sure you do) you can tell whether the toilets at the front or back of the plane are vacant by the coloured sign - tough if you are colour blind.

Tuesday 21st April 2009

We get up at 6.00am as my girlfriend has to go into hospital for a minor operation. Amazingly, by 12.00pm she is ready to leave hospital but I am meanwhile in Liverpool so she gets a taxi home home.

England is warm and you can actually walk around outside without suffering from severe wind chill. The flowers are out and apart from the economy everything looks good.

In the evening we go to see Monsters versus Aliens in 3-D. Grey Tart it ain't but the three dimensional stuff is truly impressive - gigantic computing power producing something essentially trivial. The Monsters won, I think.

Wednesday 22nd April 2009

Electric poles impregnated with creosote may not be interesting to everybody but some people's lives revolve around them (especially if you don't do up the harness properly)

Thursday 23rd April 2009

I go to a property auction at The Manchester United football ground. As usual, I get outbid.

Friday 24th April 2009

We walk down to Dunham Park and have a nice lunch in the excellent restaurant which costs about £20 for two people.

A few years ago when walking through the park, I overheard somebody say "They used to keep it so tidy but now there is rotting wood all over the place". Yup. They do that so that beetles and all sorts of creepy crawlies can have a nice home ("I just love rotting wood"). That's what it does if you don't soak it in creosote.

At 7.15pm we fly back to Malaga on Easy Jet. For some reason (a mis-understanding by computer programmers) if you check-in online you cannot get Speedy Boarding [guys: SB has two functions - clearly you do not need it to check in as you have just checked in online - the bit you forgot is that it also gets you on the plane quicker - have it fixed by next week or there will be trouble].

This means that we have to queue up to get on the plane and in the confusion they will not let me on because I cannot find my boarding card. It turns out my girlfriend has it. What would happen if it was really lost I have no idea.

Saturday 25th April 2009

HMS Westminster has arrived in Gibraltar ...

... and so has Whale Song, from the Cayman Islands.

Meanwhile, elswhere on the peninsula of Gibraltar, somebody has hit a tree. Not, I hasten to add, that he had any hard feelings towards the tree but probably for reasons beyond his control - like the fact that his right foot was jammed to the floor. It could have been a lady driving of course but somehow I doubt it. The lady was probably driving the car that made him hit the tree - by doing 29mph in a 30mph zone. Ladies can be very irritating like that.

In the evening I read Evo Magazine (a magazine for people whose right feet are jammed to the floor) and discover that the Volkswagen factory at Wolfsburg is the size of the whole of Gibraltar. I wonder if they have a Prime Minister?

Later I learn that the factory only covers five square kilometers, whereas Gibraltar covers an area of about seven square kilometers (it is still growing as large areas have been reclaimed from the sea). Still, that is one big factory - the Führer would be amazed at how much his brain child has grown. His "Kraft durch Freude" (strength through joy) has become "Vorsprung durch Technik" (advancement through technology). Amazing!

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